The psychology of sexuality and love

Hungarian version: A szexualitás, szeretet és szerelem pszichológiája

How should we see the life in normal way?

Like this: I’m the object of the search and the searcher, all in one. Only I didn’t know that. I see there is nothing else to find. That’s all. Finally, we see this world, as it is. But, if we identify with our mind, we misses it, if we feel guilty about our past, and we feel worried about our future, plus we worry about death too…

And what is your opinion about love and make love?

I think it cannot be made (see make love), because love is a divine gift, a glimpse of eternity, and not a human commodity or fabrication. This does not mean that you can’t have sex with someone you love. This is the bridge between the spirit and the body. In animals, sexual desire is instinctive and seasonal. With us it is much more complex because we rarely want to propagate, instead we just want to have a good time. This is perfectly okay, nothing wrong with it, but we mix sex with ownership issues, romance, dominance, money etc. So, sex has become a head game. Our ideas about sex are derived from internet, magazines, television. How many books, idea are in this topic? A lots of information. But informations belongs only to the mind, not the life. The sexual drive (libido) is age-related but desire is not. Desire is a head-dweller.

You mean, this or that is good or not good?

No, I’m not against anything. Let’s get this straight. I just want to know how it works… For example a dying man can desire the last sex action, but can you see a dying dog, which want to sex?

No, it is interesting, why can we see this?

Because we have a lots of repression. A sexual thought occurs every seven seconds. To the media, sex is the alpha and omega of human existence…

The question is why are we so different in our mating habits from other mammals? Why aren’t we seasonal but instead horny most of the time?

The answer is simple and we all know it: desire. Constant desire… To us, sex means pleasure and, in some cases, release from boredom. Given 18 waking hours in a day, how many of those are you spending wondering about sex? Now then, think about the futility of this process and about all the wasted energy that went into it. And besides we have lost our instinctive mating patterns, hence we must invent various codes, restrictions, and laws to control our libido. One such code, for example that to be moral you can legally copulate with only one partner. And the sexual repression is like taking loads of dynamite, day after day, and storing it in your basement. It might take years, or just a few months but eventually you will either blow up. Unless you wake up.

That is why we live in a neurotic society, and why we are killing our environment.

Yes. And when you see a desirable male or female you are not falling in love, no. What you feel is just the old desire to mate, dictated by our biology. There’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t need to feel guilty. Sexual desire is natural, like hunger and thirst.

And can the meditation help us?

Yes, that is what meditation does, by the way: it makes you aware, enabling you to catch the desire before it goes into storage. So, we can decide what do we want. We want to remain repressed social animals or evolve into conscious beings. We think of the transformation of sexual energy into spiritual energy.